# If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
# Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

# Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.
# Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
# It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

# Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
# If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
# COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
# The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
# It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.